Just because my sister and I spend all winter

Just because my sister and I spend all winter at our ski lodge doesn't mean we make it onto the slopes.

Even when she called, I could tell that returning

Even when she called, I could tell that returning my old shirt was just the pretext for my aunt’s visit.

As long as she gets pampered, my daughter

As long as she gets pampered, my daughter doesn't mind who does it.

A sly smile was the only invitation I needed

A sly smile was the only invitation I needed from my cousin.

My step-sister never really agreed with how

My step-sister never really agreed with how we celebrate Thanksgiving. But she had a great idea for Black Friday.

Waking up with a hangover isn't as harsh

Waking up with a hangover isn't as harsh when it's in mom's bed.

Literally sent this to my younger brother

Literally sent this to my younger brother and we fucked

We all have that one cousin. Mine's just

We all have that one cousin. Mine's just a lot more fun.

Funny how many times I ask my sister to look

Funny how many times I ask my sister to look for something when I had it all along.

Sometimes bratty little sisters turn into

Sometimes bratty little sisters turn into slutty ones.

I send pics like this to my brother all the

I send pics like this to my brother all the time and we recently fucked for the first time

I know how much mom likes a fresh breeze

I know how much mom likes a fresh breeze in the summer.

The best part of every day is mom's reveal

The best part of every day is mom's reveal when I get home.

I accidentally lost mom's suitcase when she

I accidentally lost mom's suitcase when she came to visit for a week. Luckily, an old girlfriend had left something behind.

For a city slicker, my cousin is adjusting

For a city slicker, my cousin is adjusting to the farm life pretty quickly.

On family trips, I always book a room adjoining

On family trips, I always book a room adjoining my sister’s. Always.

While dad's up top sailing, I'm down below

While dad's up top sailing, I'm down below plundering booty.

I'm fighting to keep my aunt off a diet.

I'm fighting to keep my aunt off a diet.

"Hop in the back, nephew. I can't see what's

Everyone secretly wants a big-tittied goth...sister.

Everyone secretly wants a big-tittied goth...sister.

My sister and I grew up on the same old shows,

My sister and I grew up on the same old shows, so we always have someone to reminisce with.

After two weeks in isolation with my sister,

After two weeks in isolation with my sister, I was ready to wave off the search party.

Sis thinks I’m her best wingman at bars.

Sis thinks I’m her best wingman at bars. But only for now.

When I arrive home after exams, I just want

When I arrive home after exams, I just want to bury my head for a week.

I’m always bad at choosing gifts, but luckily

I’m always bad at choosing gifts, but luckily sis just took my V-Card this year.

“You’d have a better look if I had a

“You’d have a better look if I had a better camera, Daddy” turned out to be a winning argument.

Even Daddys need something to play with.

Even Daddys need something to play with.

Auntie comes up with the best campfire games.

Auntie comes up with the best campfire games.

I can't help liking everything my aunt picks

I can't help liking everything my aunt picks out. She has good taste.

I vastly prefer mom's summer wardrobe.

I vastly prefer mom's summer wardrobe.

I'm too old to need it, but I still love

I'm too old to need it, but I still love when my aunt comes to babysit.

When my son invites me to his room late at

When my son invites me to his room late at night, it's only to take care of one thing.

I don't need a clock when my nephew stops

I don't need a clock when my nephew stops by.

My son will always be my superman.

My son will always be my superman.

I could watch my sons play in the hammock

I could watch my sons play in the hammock all day.

My son knows what he's doing around the house.

My son knows what he's doing around the house.

No, son, there's something wrong with your

No, son, there's something wrong with your outfit. Let me help.

The way he sleeps, it's hard to just walk

The way he sleeps, it's hard to just walk by my son's room in the morning.

Our family portraits are a little unorthodox.

Our family portraits are a little unorthodox.

Dad's pissed

Dad's pissed

Mom's always coming in my room to show off

Mom's always coming in my room to show off her fur.

Whenever I'm stressed, granny stops by to

Whenever I'm stressed, granny stops by to give me her famous head massage.

He gets it

He gets it

Mom was out of town last week, so we're celebrating

Mom was out of town last week, so we're celebrating Valentine's Day a little late.

Mom seems to enjoy her Mother's Day gift

Mom seems to enjoy her Mother's Day gift

Mom and I try to coordinate our riding lessons.

Mom and I try to coordinate our riding lessons.

When she caught me buying dirty magazines,

When she caught me buying dirty magazines, mom put a stop to it right away.

Mom drinks coffee in the mornings. I use

Mom drinks coffee in the mornings. I use a different pick me up.

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