Now that she moved into my apartment, I can't

Now that she moved into my apartment, I can't get my sister to let go of me.

Mom knows that my dad is a heavy sleeper.

Mom knows that my dad is a heavy sleeper. She just likes the dirty talk.

There are only so many times a guy can walk

There are only so many times a guy can walk by his sister's cute ass just waiting in her room.

Like many parents, mom gives us a kiss before

Like many parents, mom gives us a kiss before we head off to school. She just slips in a little tongue.

That does sound tempting, aunt.

That does sound tempting, aunt.

My girlfriend has always complained that

My girlfriend has always complained that she can't find a nice guy for her daughter. I never really cared until today.

Sis knows I'm a Star Wars fan, so after my

Sis knows I'm a Star Wars fan, so after my girlfriend left she texted

"So nephew...is this my entertainment for

breaking the news to daddy.

breaking the news to daddy.

We were jumping on mom and dad's bed when

We were jumping on mom and dad's bed when she said,

Using my sister as a fleshlight.

Using my sister as a fleshlight.

Backseat is the best seat on long trips with

Backseat is the best seat on long trips with my aunt, if she promises to do the laundry after.

Mom can be so chatty when my brother and

Mom can be so chatty when my brother and I have other things to do.

My sister took the reigns of her sorority

My sister took the reigns of her sorority this year. I'm now part of the hazing.

"They're cute. Don't you think, bro?"

My sister accidentally walked in on us. I'm

My sister accidentally walked in on us. I'm not sure if she was more surprised at what we were doing, or that mom wouldn't stop with her present.

My parents think I'm awfully rude to just

My parents think I'm awfully rude to just wait in my room when my sister comes to visit. But it's really just more practical.

It's always embarrassing to be caught fooling

It's always embarrassing to be caught fooling around by your girlfriend's mom. Especially when she's your mom, too.

Well, yeah cousin, our parents are gone.

Well, yeah cousin, our parents are gone. What's so funny about that?

Even though I was only spending the day with

Even though I was only spending the day with my sisters, mom came home a minute earlier than I would have liked.

Sleeping only feet away from my smokin' hot

Sleeping only feet away from my smokin' hot cousin was bad enough. When she invited me in, I nearly lost it.

One hour in to "maid for a day," my sister

One hour in to

I still catch my little sis looking up to

I still catch my little sis looking up to me.

My sister's had to repeat senior year, and

My sister's had to repeat senior year, and I still nearly make her late to class.

Turns out my sister's friends are pretty

Turns out my sister's friends are pretty deep sleepers.

It's hard enough to find time to hang out

It's hard enough to find time to hang out with my cousin without mom always looking over my shoulder.

Sis likes to pretend otherwise, but she's

Sis likes to pretend otherwise, but she's crazy for my D.

I told sis there was a surprise waiting for

I told sis there was a surprise waiting for her outside; but it's always the same surprise.

When she caught me with her roommates, sis

When she caught me with her roommates, sis was actually pretty chill.

Relax, honey. If your mother can take it,

Relax, honey. If your mother can take it, so can you.

In a family of nudists, hugs can quickly

In a family of nudists, hugs can quickly turn into something more.

She puts up a fuss, but I know my sister

She puts up a fuss, but I know my sister doesn't mind *that* much

My wife thinks our niece is a little old

My wife thinks our niece is a little old to be sitting on my lap. Really, she's just old enough.

Wait, sis, you locked the front door, right?

Wait, sis, you locked the front door, right?

My cousins and I ended up creating a new

My cousins and I ended up creating a new Christmas tradition this year.

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