Not sure about Buddha, but I'm pretty sure

Not sure about Buddha, but I'm pretty sure that Jesus would frown on what sis has gotten me into.

When grandma texted that she was ready with

When grandma texted that she was ready with her dancing shoes on, I assumed she meant dancing vertically.

Mom always brings something delicious on

Mom always brings something delicious on our picnics.

Fourteen hours on a plane, one hour in a

Fourteen hours on a plane, one hour in a cab, and forty eight hours in my aunt is how I like to spend my vacation days.

I doubt she ever believed it was an accident,

I doubt she ever believed it was an accident, but thank god mom didn’t cancel our single booking at the nudist resort after we had arrived.

I let mom break the No Shoes On Bed rule.

I let mom break the No Shoes On Bed rule.

We still have two weeks to find an outfit

We still have two weeks to find an outfit that leaves mom and me the most possibilities during the inevitable Christmas parties.

I can always spot when sis is looking for

I can always spot when sis is looking for me.

When sis and I are home alone, we flip a

When sis and I are home alone, we flip a coin to see who opens the door for the pizza.

"So, how long can you hold your breath cousin?"

Sis is flexible and stretchable.

Sis is flexible and stretchable.

Aunty can make a game out of anything.

Aunty can make a game out of anything.

Colder does the weather turn, hotter hearts

Colder does the weather turn, hotter hearts at home do burn.

I keep the fridge stocked with La Croix just

I keep the fridge stocked with La Croix just to see my sister in the kitchen more often.

From the very first day of our vacation,

From the very first day of our vacation, I knew I wasn't letting mom out of my sight.

When my son got his first job, I agreed he

When my son got his first job, I agreed he should get a man's welcome when he comes home, too.

"If it's going to happen anyway, better at

My niece has lived in L.A. long enough to

My niece has lived in L.A. long enough to know why she gets invited to mansions.

Asking my sister "what could be worse than

Asking my sister

While she hides out from an abusive ex at

While she hides out from an abusive ex at my place, my cousin at least makes for good company.

It’s still warm enough to go swimming at

It’s still warm enough to go swimming at our summer cabin and, thankfully, my sister doesn’t need much convincing.

Sis is slowly learning how to be a classy

Sis is slowly learning how to be a classy lady.

Sis is a little devil.

Sis is a little devil.

It wasn’t until I got back from Basic that

It wasn’t until I got back from Basic that I learned how much mom appreciates a man in uniform.

Messy sheets are really my sister's fault,

Messy sheets are really my sister's fault, but I can't blame her for everything.

Slowly but surely, sis is turning me into

Slowly but surely, sis is turning me into a hugger.

Aunty and I start every day in a good mood.

Aunty and I start every day in a good mood.

Working under my sister’s car all morning

Working under my sister’s car all morning has its upsides later on.

Thanksfully, sis and I keep our confessions

Thanksfully, sis and I keep our confessions at home.

Visiting colleges with my step-mom was an

Visiting colleges with my step-mom was an unforgettable experience, in more ways than one.

There's nothing more satisfying than coming

There's nothing more satisfying than coming home to see you've raised your family right.

When my niece asked to stay over for a long

When my niece asked to stay over for a long weekend, I just prayed that would be long enough.

Honey, can you help mommy zip this up i'm

Honey, can you help mommy zip this up i'm late for work...

God bless her - my sister really helps to

God bless her - my sister really helps to distract me from my sugar addiction.

It's nice to see our daughter pick up some

It's nice to see our daughter pick up some of the chores around the house.

She may keep a prissy outward appearance,

She may keep a prissy outward appearance, but I've always known the truth about my big sister.

When mom called me in to have The Talk, I

When mom called me in to have The Talk, I didn't expect it to be so hands-on.

When sis wants me to hurry home with fancy

When sis wants me to hurry home with fancy soap or some other complicated necessity, she knows the fastest way is to snap a pic.

Mom and I prefer foreign locales for our

Mom and I prefer foreign locales for our summer holidays. Mostly international waters.

"Can you try washing the rest of my body

Mom only needed liquid courage for the first

Mom only needed liquid courage for the first few of our long, glorious days in Bali.

My daughter doesn't need me to read to her

My daughter doesn't need me to read to her in bed anymore. But she thinks of other reasons for me to sneak in at night.

My slutty mom :)

My slutty mom :)

Aunty says there are no accidents in the

Aunty says there are no accidents in the kitchen, only new adventures.

Mom puts her trust in me to properly apply

Mom puts her trust in me to properly apply the tanning oil before she shows off at the beach club.

I try to keep the girls I like from meeting

I try to keep the girls I like from meeting my mother, but sometimes it's inevitable.

Once I let her stay in my apartment rent-free,

Once I let her stay in my apartment rent-free, sis became all sweetness.

It feels a little short-sighted now, not

It feels a little short-sighted now, not letting sis borrow my razor.

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