We heard over the phone that dad was extending

We heard over the phone that dad was extending our vacation another week, but had to head home early on business. And mom was excited.

What do you think of my southern hospitality

What do you think of my southern hospitality now, nephew?

When mom's date cancelled at the last minute,

When mom's date cancelled at the last minute, I was more than happy to help her run a hot bath to relax.

I took a quick photo before waking mom. We

I took a quick photo before waking mom. We only had the room for an hour.

Mom couldn't help bragging about me to her

Mom couldn't help bragging about me to her friends.

Smile sis! We finally got you out of that

Smile sis! We finally got you out of that bikini.

"What, aunt? We got shots with the different

Mom was so excited about the diving lessons,

Mom was so excited about the diving lessons, she asked to thank me before we joined the others

My Sister finally showed Mom why she's always

My Sister finally showed Mom why she's always in the shower for an hour - looks like Mom is a fan

Oops. Care to give your mother a hand?

Oops. Care to give your mother a hand?

I was so proud i won the weekly "who can

I was so proud i won the weekly

I'm sure the neighbor didn't see us, mom.

I'm sure the neighbor didn't see us, mom. I'm standing up - we have a big day ahead.

Oh I won't tell, cousin

Oh I won't tell, cousin

Sis asked for one photo with the flash

Sis asked for one photo with the flash

Sis can't win at strip tennis. She must like

Sis can't win at strip tennis. She must like playing with my balls.

"You can snuggle in with me, big bro. I'll

At the very bottom of her porn drawer, I

At the very bottom of her porn drawer, I found an old picture of mom

After a little study, my aunt agreed she

After a little study, my aunt agreed she had never been with anything bigger.

You sure we're alone? Our parents would kill

You sure we're alone? Our parents would kill us...

My sister is the image of propriety, for

My sister is the image of propriety, for the most part.

"I...think you should close the door, bro."

Mom looked beautiful during our Valentine's

Mom looked beautiful during our Valentine's Day dinner. And especially after.

"Out at dinner, but thinking of you bro!"

"Um, nephew? Wrong hole. Rookie mistake,

"I told you we would be seeding today, cousin."

When traveling to India, my aunt stressed

When traveling to India, my aunt stressed the importance of conserving water.

"Nephew! You weren't supposed to see my piercing

"Come on bro. You know it's dad's turn in

Do you think they'll like 'em at spring break,

Do you think they'll like 'em at spring break, brother?

Do I look OK for your big party, brother?

Do I look OK for your big party, brother?

My step-sister still borrows my music and

My step-sister still borrows my music and headphones, but at least now she knows what I'll want in return.

Out of sight of the others in the cabana,

Out of sight of the others in the cabana, mom and I began the true vacation we'd been planning.

I snapped one of my sis changing, for when

I snapped one of my sis changing, for when she's not around.

I knew my sister was joking when she said

I knew my sister was joking when she said

You said you'd never kissed a girl on the

You said you'd never kissed a girl on the lips, brother? Which?

Sis brought the blanket for our lakeside

Sis brought the blanket for our lakeside picnic, so I had to do the entertainment.

"Think my date will like it bro? Maybe you

My wild sister kept asking me to join, but

My wild sister kept asking me to join, but watching her and my son on his 19th birthday was present enough for us all

I love when Auntie comes by to keep Mom company

I love when Auntie comes by to keep Mom company on the weekends

Sis is a dirty cheater, especially at our

Sis is a dirty cheater, especially at our favorite game - staring contests

I know I just took a shower, mom. But somehow

I know I just took a shower, mom. But somehow I feel so dirty.

I finished washing your car, bro. How about

I finished washing your car, bro. How about that ride you promised?

My Mom loves when I invite my girlfriend

My Mom loves when I invite my girlfriend over for dinner or lunch - there's always something to eat

Come on Bro, Mom and Dad just went down to

Come on Bro, Mom and Dad just went down to the pool, how bout you and I have some fun of our own?

If you want it Bro, it's yours for the taking

If you want it Bro, it's yours for the taking

"Uh, I took this last night. You know that

My cousin asked to experience everything

My cousin asked to experience everything she had heard about American pool parties.

As my younger cousin shimmied onto the rock,

As my younger cousin shimmied onto the rock, I silently gave thanks that mom forced me on the family retreat.

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