My sister is a sexy puppy at heart.

My sister is a sexy puppy at heart.

Sis was stuck going out with me this year.

Sis was stuck going out with me this year. But some Valentine's habits are hard to break.

"No more icky porn, Daddy. Just use my mouth."

I had a little too much to drink last night

I had a little too much to drink last night with my niece in the house, and my wife a little too little.

My little sister is too broke to buy us presents

My little sister is too broke to buy us presents this year, so I suggested a free alternative.

I've always known my preppy cousin had a

I've always known my preppy cousin had a thing for hippie chicks.

"Bro, wait, hold up. I have to resist that

When my aunt said sis and I could chill at

When my aunt said sis and I could chill at her place, I thought she'd be cooler about it.

Somehow, it's different living with my sister

Somehow, it's different living with my sister now that we're both in college.

What happens in the family basement, stays

What happens in the family basement, stays in the basement.

Sis does an "I can't believe you're making

Sis does an

When my aunt agreed to one special birthday

When my aunt agreed to one special birthday wish, I decided to get my money's worth.

We invited our cousins this year to help

We invited our cousins this year to help my sister and I celebrate the birth of spring.

Sis and I were raised to be responsible.

Sis and I were raised to be responsible. So when we stumbled out to my car after New Year's, it wasn't to drink and drive.

After all the guests had gone, mom wished

After all the guests had gone, mom wished me a very happy start to the new year.

Dad got back from the hotel bar a little

Dad got back from the hotel bar a little sooner than mom and I anticipated.

I've finally figured out how to get my sister

I've finally figured out how to get my sister to share the bathroom in the morning.

When my girlfriend and I fight, I can use

When my girlfriend and I fight, I can use the

My brother has no chill.

My brother has no chill.

I prefer the way my aunt tucks me in at night.

I prefer the way my aunt tucks me in at night.

"I'll see you later, nephew."

With sweet talk and a pair of fishnets, I

With sweet talk and a pair of fishnets, I finally got what I wanted out of Daddy.

Sis can provide encouragement with a single

Sis can provide encouragement with a single look.

I can Skype with my cousin whenever, but

I can Skype with my cousin whenever, but really she wants me to come visit.

When the wife's out, my niece pays her rent.

When the wife's out, my niece pays her rent.

If sis can play at my game, I can play at

If sis can play at my game, I can play at hers.

I'm not really into all the things my girlfriend

I'm not really into all the things my girlfriend likes, so I get my sister to help.

Mom tell me if you see my sock in there

Mom tell me if you see my sock in there

Mom is a real stickler for cleanliness.

Mom is a real stickler for cleanliness.

Sis really upped her Valentine's present

Sis really upped her Valentine's present this year.

"Sis! What if mom and dad walk in?!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Although I failed my cooking lesson, sis

Although I failed my cooking lesson, sis offered delicatessen.

Sis likes one part of me more than the rest.

Sis likes one part of me more than the rest.

I told sis her practice was cancelled for

I told sis her practice was cancelled for a little extra 1-on-1 time.

One problem with my boyfriend never happens

One problem with my boyfriend never happens with my brother.

I don't know how my sister gets in these

I don't know how my sister gets in these predicaments, but I usually take advantage.

"So you like my new outfit, Daddy?"

Now she's on the pill, my sister and I make

Now she's on the pill, my sister and I make use of it.

Sis and I have been cookin' up something

Sis and I have been cookin' up something good in our new apartment.

I should have given my wife another glass

I should have given my wife another glass of wine before visiting our daughter's room.

My sister does her best to keep me out of

My sister does her best to keep me out of trouble with my girlfriend.

Don't worry, sis. It's just the tip.

Don't worry, sis. It's just the tip.

Really, my sister is the mischievous one.

Really, my sister is the mischievous one.

Mom always said my first time would be special.

Mom always said my first time would be special.

Bedtime gets cut short when dad comes back

Bedtime gets cut short when dad comes back early.

Our cousins were a bit surprised at how quickly

Our cousins were a bit surprised at how quickly sis and I adapted to ranch life.

After the infamous standoff, sis and I don't

After the infamous standoff, sis and I don't fight over the bathroom anymore.

Sis and I make the most of every trip to

Sis and I make the most of every trip to the beach.

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