I haven't quite taught her manners, but I

I haven't quite taught her manners, but I can get my sister to say

Mom's approach has always been, "If they

Mom's approach has always been,

Booze has the same effect on me and my cousins.

Booze has the same effect on me and my cousins.

Sis can play some cruel jokes.

Sis can play some cruel jokes.

When sis and I couldn't stop bickering on

When sis and I couldn't stop bickering on our road trip, we decided to pull over and let off some steam.

Luckily, my sister's narcolepsy is coupled

Luckily, my sister's narcolepsy is coupled with good hygiene.

I tried to open up a little to my sister.

I tried to open up a little to my sister. She let the freak out.

We're making the most of our brother being

We're making the most of our brother being back home.

After a few girls complained I was "too eager,"

After a few girls complained I was

My sister has learned more from her boyfriends

My sister has learned more from her boyfriends than I would have guessed.

My aunt isn't used to having guests over,

My aunt isn't used to having guests over, which means a lot of doors left open.

Having the house to ourselves for the weekend

Having the house to ourselves for the weekend means that sis and I can do whatever.

Before my big recital, mom gave the classic

Before my big recital, mom gave the classic advice to overcome nerves - just picture everyone in their underwear.

Mom had a funny reaction to catching me with

Mom had a funny reaction to catching me with dirty magazines.

There's always a reward for being good while

There's always a reward for being good while shopping with mom.

If sis is gonna use my laptop, I should get

If sis is gonna use my laptop, I should get something in return.

When my sister asked what it takes to land

When my sister asked what it takes to land a rich husband, mom and I had to break the news.

Sis and I didn't actually drink to celebrate

Sis and I didn't actually drink to celebrate New Year's Eve. Though luckily, her friends did.

My sister brought a few tricks back with

My sister brought a few tricks back with her from college.

Mom brings plenty of nice girls over for

Mom brings plenty of nice girls over for me to get to know. But I already have my favorite.

"If you're having all these problems with

Sis knows how to calm me down before a big

Sis knows how to calm me down before a big date.

Sis has a mischievous side when our parents

Sis has a mischievous side when our parents are gone.

I get a little antsy waiting for my turn

I get a little antsy waiting for my turn with mom.

My sister knows I'm always around to lend

My sister knows I'm always around to lend a helping hand.

Sis used to just tease about my pent-up frustrations

Sis used to just tease about my pent-up frustrations around the house. But she's grown a little more compassionate.

Cabanas are pricey, but I said sis could

Cabanas are pricey, but I said sis could stay in mine.

I like to think I teach my sister new things

I like to think I teach my sister new things about herself.

It was a huge relief when my sister returned

It was a huge relief when my sister returned from college.

We can't agree on TV shows, but my sister

We can't agree on TV shows, but my sister and I have found a way to share the couch.

After one too many awkward encounters with

After one too many awkward encounters with her hot friends, my sister decided to take my frustrations into her own hands.

My sister is never really surprised to find

My sister is never really surprised to find me poking around in her room.

My sister's roommate can be a little too

My sister's roommate can be a little too chatty for my taste.

Sis shouldn't have bet on the Falcons

Sis shouldn't have bet on the Falcons

I always prepare for Daddy's visits.

I always prepare for Daddy's visits.

Mommy, you'll make me late again.

Mommy, you'll make me late again.

My sister really wants a job at my new company,

My sister really wants a job at my new company, and is trying to make a good impression.

My sister's friends are a little skiddish,

My sister's friends are a little skiddish, but she doesn't miss a beat.

I make every workout session count, especially

I make every workout session count, especially with my sister.

I don't think my aunt knew how long I'd been

I don't think my aunt knew how long I'd been fantasizing.

At first, mom didn't believe me when I told

At first, mom didn't believe me when I told her it had been a while.

My new step-sister and I would get along

My new step-sister and I would get along even better if mom didn't keep checking on us.

I gotta teach my cousin something when she

I gotta teach my cousin something when she stays over.

Sis was curious why mom and I spend so much

Sis was curious why mom and I spend so much time along together. So we showed her.

Dang if my sister ain't squeamy sometimes.

Dang if my sister ain't squeamy sometimes.

My aunt isn't one to waste time when her

My aunt isn't one to waste time when her husband is out.

My step-sister isn't quite as worried about

My step-sister isn't quite as worried about getting caught as I am.

Mom always wants to be included in our sibling

Mom always wants to be included in our sibling activities.

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