When we put our heads together, mom and I

When we put our heads together, mom and I devised a way to save on the water bill over the holidays.

I hear you've been curious about women, son.

I hear you've been curious about women, son.

When my sister and I went into business together,

When my sister and I went into business together, we didn't expect dad to be our best customer.

Mom and I ring in the spring in our own special

Mom and I ring in the spring in our own special way.

Sis and I get a little handsy when left alone.

Sis and I get a little handsy when left alone.

My aunt gives me a proper greeting whenever

My aunt gives me a proper greeting whenever I stop by for tea.

Sometimes, my sister needs a little convincing.

Sometimes, my sister needs a little convincing.

Mom's shower is just big enough for two,

Mom's shower is just big enough for two, we've discovered.

Mom's not one to waste anything she's been

Mom's not one to waste anything she's been given.

I thought of one way sis and I could share

I thought of one way sis and I could share a towel at the beach.

"Another breakup, son? Let momma take care

Sis is constantly at the gym. I wait until

Sis is constantly at the gym. I wait until after she's back to get my workout.

When I heard she was back in town, my aunt

When I heard she was back in town, my aunt was the first invite to our house party.

Mom has always been playful with me. The

Mom has always been playful with me. The games have just gotten better.

All these people ringing in New Year's with

All these people ringing in New Year's with a

I help sis get sudsy in the laundry room.

I help sis get sudsy in the laundry room.

Mom is really trying to convince me to live

Mom is really trying to convince me to live at home during college.

Daddy takes a sink-or-swim approach with

Daddy takes a sink-or-swim approach with all his lessons.

Sis and I promised our parents that we'd

Sis and I promised our parents that we'd be good at home alone for the weekend. So we're trying.

Based on the first trial runs with my cousin,

Based on the first trial runs with my cousin, I shouldn't have any issues when I finally get a girlfriend.

After the party and spiked brew, mom thought

After the party and spiked brew, mom thought up a wicked proposition.

Aunty runs the most relaxing baths.

Aunty runs the most relaxing baths.

Even though we're older now, I'm still looking

Even though we're older now, I'm still looking for that sign of approval from my big sister.

I grew a bit sick of my brother TALKING about

I grew a bit sick of my brother TALKING about what he'd do to me all the time.

"Oh my God, sis. This is already so relaxing."

My brother still knows how to make me giggle.

My brother still knows how to make me giggle.

Sis, you want to be a big girl, I'll treat

Sis, you want to be a big girl, I'll treat you like a big girl.

As soon as mom brings us home from class,

As soon as mom brings us home from class, it's a race to the bedroom.

Daddy said I could just have a nice day out

Daddy said I could just have a nice day out on the boat with my boyfriend. But then he kept intruding.

When she learned he'd been cheating, mom

When she learned he'd been cheating, mom was quick to set up the camera and teach dad a lesson.

After I aced my first lesson, sis said we

After I aced my first lesson, sis said we could move on to part 2.

My brother is a stupid little horndog. But

My brother is a stupid little horndog. But fuck it.

Mom and I made the most of the rain delay.

Mom and I made the most of the rain delay.

The things I let my son get away with.

The things I let my son get away with.

Sis and I have worked out a little deal:

Sis and I have worked out a little deal: I'll listen to how her day went, if she keeps her hands busy.

I love my brother, but some alone time with

I love my brother, but some alone time with my boyfriend would be nice, too.

I really shouldn't have to explain spending

I really shouldn't have to explain spending time with my dear mother, especially to sis.

I kept sis indoors most of winter break.

I kept sis indoors most of winter break.

Just because my sisters asked me to be a

Just because my sisters asked me to be a lookout doesn't mean I can't peek in, too.

"No mom, look at dad."

Sis complained that the stripper I brought

Sis complained that the stripper I brought ruined her party. But I think it just made her jealous.

Mum and I have to wait for my brother to

Mum and I have to wait for my brother to finish practice every Tuesday. It does give us some time together, though.

Sure glad I didn't skip that night on the

Sure glad I didn't skip that night on the town with my cousin.

Sis and I couldn't pass up an empty pool

Sis and I couldn't pass up an empty pool at our hotel.

Only MY stupid brother would need convincing.

Only MY stupid brother would need convincing.

When I told sis about the promotion, she

When I told sis about the promotion, she was even more excitable than usual.

Mom's always warning me to be safe around

Mom's always warning me to be safe around boys. But bro's got it covered.

Dad takes some of his jokes pretty far.

Dad takes some of his jokes pretty far.

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