With dad out of town all week, mom doesn't

With dad out of town all week, mom doesn't waste any time meeting me at the door when I get home.

I eat the same thing on all my springtime

I eat the same thing on all my springtime picnics with mom.

You'll never find anyone as devoted to the

You'll never find anyone as devoted to the family jewels as mom.

[M/S/S/F] In a house with her husband and

[M/S/S/F] In a house with her husband and two sons, mom's holes never got any rest

With bro home from school over break, I'm

With bro home from school over break, I'm learning all sorts of new things about him.

Sis may be cheap, but she's also right: a

Sis may be cheap, but she's also right: a handjob is a pretty good gift in itself.

Even with a new boyfriend, mommy always makes

Even with a new boyfriend, mommy always makes time for me.

Sis and I tend to attract an audience at

Sis and I tend to attract an audience at the beach.

I tip generously when visiting my sister's

I tip generously when visiting my sister's massage parlor. And I know she appreciates it.

Being the family grillmaster has its perks.

Being the family grillmaster has its perks.

I have to give my brother something after

I have to give my brother something after a job well done.

Sis always picks a cheesy, slutty costume

Sis always picks a cheesy, slutty costume for Halloween. Though I'm not complaining.

Mom likes my new girlfriend, too, but some

Mom likes my new girlfriend, too, but some things just don't work with her.

I have the decency to find a little privacy

I have the decency to find a little privacy before fooling around with sis.

When dad's out of town, mom and I can enjoy

When dad's out of town, mom and I can enjoy the entire house.

Growing up, I was taught to never be ashamed

Growing up, I was taught to never be ashamed of my feelings.

Sis and I love a classic game of Just The

Sis and I love a classic game of Just The Tip, but they never last too long.

Even when I bring my girlfriend over to celebrate

Even when I bring my girlfriend over to celebrate the holidays, somehow dad always gets the upper hand.

Don't get me wrong, I love my sister too.

Don't get me wrong, I love my sister too. I just wish she wouldn't show it at family barbecues.

My step-sister and I only see each other

My step-sister and I only see each other at family gatherings. So we have to take the opportunities as they come.

Granny is always supportive when I'm asking

Granny is always supportive when I'm asking for something from mom.

I try to make my cousin comfortable as soon

I try to make my cousin comfortable as soon as she comes over.

My sister and I are real, red-blooded 'Muricans.

My sister and I are real, red-blooded 'Muricans.

Being My Sister's Personal Trainer Has Its

Being My Sister's Personal Trainer Has Its Benefits

When sis needs a break on road trips, she

When sis needs a break on road trips, she doesn't have to say anything more.

Before there were formal classes or instructional

Before there were formal classes or instructional videos, mom taught me Sex Ed with only her open legs and an open mind.

When I come home from the road, mom's always

When I come home from the road, mom's always there waiting.

Some of my sister's requests are easier to

Some of my sister's requests are easier to fulfill than others.

My slutty new step-daughter is the best part

My slutty new step-daughter is the best part of the marriage.

Mom agreed to some photos before I went back

Mom agreed to some photos before I went back to college. I just forgot to mention when.

Working at our family's company means a lot

Working at our family's company means a lot of time in the boss's office.

I took umbrage at my sister implying that

I took umbrage at my sister implying that I might be a

Dad always ruins my selfie videos.

Dad always ruins my selfie videos.

I got fed up with being in the never-been-kissed

I got fed up with being in the never-been-kissed crowd one day. Fortunately, my sister did too.

Mom just doesn't know what to do with my

Mom just doesn't know what to do with my wild aunt. And I only know one thing to do.

Pit stops are the best part of any road trip

Pit stops are the best part of any road trip with my sister.

There was no internet porn back in the old

There was no internet porn back in the old days. Mom and I just had to make do.

I tell you what, life on the family farm

I tell you what, life on the family farm is just better in the South.

My sister and I are always fooling around

My sister and I are always fooling around at the beach.

After we rented an apartment together, my

After we rented an apartment together, my sister and I finally discovered some common interests.

My sister's second thoughts are killing me.

My sister's second thoughts are killing me.

A redditor's sister.

A redditor's sister.

It's hard enough to get dressed for dinner

It's hard enough to get dressed for dinner when dad's pestering me, much less mom.

My sister gets the same thing over every

My sister gets the same thing over every Christmas break.

Mom says not to fiddle around in the shower.

Mom says not to fiddle around in the shower. At least not when she's not in there.

My sisters have had some odd requests since

My sisters have had some odd requests since I've been back from college.

When my little sister is curious about something,

When my little sister is curious about something, mom and I think it's best to show her first.

Sis says my hyperactivity is good for something.

Sis says my hyperactivity is good for something.

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